The World’s Okayest Mom

I find that people who don’t have a preemie or a child with special needs really can’t understand the level of busy and mental exhaustion that comes along with this life. We have gotten off very lucky with our situation in that our preemie has had far less “issues” than many others but it has been difficult nonetheless. Over the last 3 years (including the end part of my pregnancy) we have seen more doctors, therapists, and specialties; had more testing and monitoring done than I ever though possible. It’s so easy for someone with a normal healthy family to say “if you’re not happy with your postpartum body just make the time to go to the gym”. “You should always take some ‘Mommy time’ for yourself” or “schedule your time for grocery shopping, you only have one (little) kid.” What they don’t understand is that I struggle for the majority of my day to get my child to eat a small amount of calories to get him to gain weight and avoid a feeding tube. All activities have to be planne...

So you're sad that we don't talk anymore. You noticed that I don't text you or invite you to go have dinner or drinks anymore. You noticed that I don't reach out to you when I have a problem or to see how you are doing with your life. It appears that you are under the impression that I just arbitrarily left your life with no rhyme or reason, just faded out and don't care. Perhaps I'm just crazy, perhaps I'm just a bitch. One of the things that drew me to you as a friend was your "fit it" attitude. When I had anxiety over work, school, kids, boyfriends, or life in general you sat down with me and said "Tell me what the problems are and lets find solutions." That was exactly what I needed from a friend. I did the same for you but you chose not to confide in me. That was your choice and I respected that. What I didn't realize for a while was how you were bullying me at the same time. When people saw and heard the mean things you did...

I am not a superhero. Neither are my friends the paramedics, firefighters, police, doctors, and fellow emergency nurses. We can not look at you and use our Spidey Sense to diagnose your ailments in an instant. We can not order, perform, read results, and give you a mystery medicine in the form of a gust of healing wind to cure you in a single bound. I can not zip you from the front door to your exam room then to your inpatient room then back to your home like The Flash. I can not run backwards like Superman and turn back time to before you had your fully modifiable and preventable illnesses and make them disappear. Emergency Responders can not sense your emergency and teleport themselves to you in ten seconds or less and solve all your problems at a moment's notice. They can not sense when you are in danger from miles away and use their telekinesis to foil your attack before it happens. They can not single-handedly lift you and float you on a cloud to the nearest hospital for tre...